Aloha, ladies and gents! Let’s begin today with one of the most annoying quotes of all time:
“Nothing in life is free.”
-Everybody’s Parents, and A Million Crappy Songwriters
FALSE FALSE FALSE FALSE FALSE!
If you’ve read any of my past few posts, you’re well aware that almost everything can be free if you use the right strategies. That being said, if you’re opposed to the idea of spending your Friday night writing fake complaint letters or loitering on street corners for free swag, then you’re still in luck… ’cause even if it ain’t free, you can probably get it for less than $2.00!
Let me introduce you to:
“5 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Buy at Dollarama“
#1: Hair Dye: “Elegant Effects Colour Creme” ($2.00)
I’m completely aware of how sketchy the idea of a two dollar box of hair-dye sounds,but I can personally vouch for the quality of this product. I bought “001” in Natural Black to touch up my roots a couple months ago, and it worked just as well as the L’Oreal Preference stuff I normally use, but for $10.00 – $12.00 less! If you don’t have high-lighted hair and your colour is in stock, then save some moolah and pick up a box of “Elegant Effects: Permanent Hair Colour Creme”.
#2: Shampoo and Conditioner: “Sunsilk Hydra TLC” ($2.00)
Once again, I’m aware that using Dollarama hair products seems
a little bit extremely questionable, but I actually almost jizzed my pants when I found this on the shelf. This particular shampoo and conditioner is the only stuff I’ve used for the past five years or so, and it’s AMAZING! I usually buy it at Shoppers Drug Mart or Wal-Mart for as much as $5.99, so two bucks is a steal! Go grab yourself a bottle or twelve!
#3: Pregnancy tests: “Pro-Care One Step Pregnancy Test” ($1.25)
Taking care of a baby is expensive, but knowing whether or not there is one growing inside of you doesn’t have to be! For a grand total of $1.25, you can find out if there’s a bun in your oven…Plus, if you are worried it’s not going to be accurate, you can buy four for $5.00, which is still significantly cheaper than the usual $10.00-$20.00. (Not that I’d know, Mom! …just making assumptions.)
#4: Lingerie: “Assorted Styles and Colours” (2 for $1.00 – $2.00)
I really have nothing to say about this. These are some of the most hideous undergarments that I have ever had the misfortune of seeing, and most of it felt like sandpaper. That being said, if you buy this underwear I am 99% sure you will never find yourself in an opportunity to get pregnant, and you can spend your $1.25 on something more fun than a pee stick.
#5 cat food: “Meow Mix Original Choice Kibble” ($2.00)
I know that you’re all experts on how to get free cat food, but this is a ridiculous bargain-especially if somebody already ripped out the free coupons from your copy of Canadian Pets Magazine ( I PLEAD NOT GUILTY)! The same bag of food is around $7.00 at other stores, so stock up.
Note: this product received a formal seal of approval from my roommate, Babylegs.
So there you have it.
Cold, hard, photographic proof that anybody who tells you “nothing in life is free” is a liar. More accurately, A LOT of stuff in life is free, and you can get almost everything else for two bucks. This was just the tip of the ice berg, so stay tuned for “5 More Things You Didn’t Know You Could Buy at Dollarama” and “5 More” and “5 More After That“, etc. etc.
Let me know in the comments section if you’ve recently found any treasure at the Dollar Store!
Winter is upon us– metaphorically speaking, of course. After a short but sweet (mostly short) two week vacation from the oppressive walls of university, it’s time to put away those bottles of tanning oil and that margarita mix.
‘Tis the season of tears. ‘Tis the season of summer school.
I’m pretty sure that I don’t stand alone with the belief that it’s depressing enough as it is to spend the summer in a crowded, windowless classroom while everybody else is busy on picnic dates in lush dog parks, throwing up on rollercoaster attendants at Wonderland, and sunbathing on nude beaches (because in my alternative reality everybody has a boyfriend, nobody has to have a job, and clothing is optional.)
…but it gets worse. Yep, there’s an e-coli infested cherry on top of this sundae of woe.
Let me introduce you to my bank account. A billion dollars worth of textbooks and tuition later, and we’re looking at:
In case you can’t read fine-print, that says $6.53. SIX DOLLARS. AND FIFTY-THREE CENTS… and perhaps sadder still, it’s more money than I thought I had. I’m not complaining though- because that would go against everything I stand for! When your stomach is as empty as your wallet, there’s only one thing to do.
Open up your book of recipes that cost $0 to make. Or the next best thing: less than $5.
“Help-I’m-Starving-And-My-Parents-Are-Sick-of-Sending-Me-Money Black Bean Soup”
- 3 cans of Black Beans (Preferably No-Name brand, because they cost only cost 75 cents a pop!)
- one can of vegetable broth (feel free substitute with any other bouillion)
- one small onion
- Optional (but recommended if you already have them on hand, or if your budget is $7-$10): 1 tablespoon of Chili Powder, ¾ cup of salsa, and lime juice to taste.
- Blend/mash/puree half of the beans, mince the onion, throw everything together, and cook it until it’s hot, thick, and tastes like it might have cost more than $4.65!
I promise it tastes less like puke than it looks.
This recipe makes about six servings, adding up to about 78 cents a meal. Sadly, Gas-X costs a bit more, so you might want to hold off on making this until you can take proper precautions, or else EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK!
And that’s my bathroom cue.
It’s bean a slice!